Intimate Candor: 3 Ways to Have More Honest Relationships

There’s nothing quite as beautiful as letting your guard down to reveal the real you. Being open is empowering, sexy, raw and confident. A total turn on!

Candor - being real with people - should come easily to me. I mean, I’m a yoga teacher and my job is basically to help people have fun and get in touch with their inner truth. What I’ve come to realize is that I have no problem being open and fun with people I don’t know well, but when it comes to being intimate with those nearest and dearest to me…not so much.

Now, to be fair I’ve known this about myself for quite sometime. While I’m not so great at unleashing candor, I’m getting much better since being married. Being with my husband has given me the time and space to let down some of the walls that took me years to build. I was afraid for so long of being hurt and judged for every little thing that I did, that my defense mechanism was perfectionism. The thing is, being perfect is NO fun at all! And it’s so exhausting to try and keep up. 

Here's what I'm trying instead: 

get personal

Change will be more long-lasting if it starts in a personal place. Since candor requires vulnerability, honesty, and sincerity with those closest to you, journaling can be a way to practice these feelings without the associated risks.

Writing down your thoughts and emotions on a piece of paper helps you to get clarity on what your truth is. If you have no idea why you’re angry or sad, how can you communicate that to your partner? Putting pen to paper is once of the most effective ways to listen to you’re unconscious and get real with yourself.

Have fun

Seems obvious right? But, it doesn’t come that easily for so many people I know (me included). We have to make FUN a priority in every relationship we have. Creating lasting memories will deepen the connections you have with those you love the most.

The next time you see a friend or family member plan on going to a new restaurant that you’ve never tried, or step outside of your comfort zone and look into local events happening near you (living social offers amazing discounted events). Devote one day a week to pure unadulterated, sexy fun with your partner. Plan it ahead of time if you need to. Hey we all live busy fabulous lives, sometimes you have to pencil in the sexy.

fight better

Come on, you know we ALL do it! There’s nothing more painful or humbling than fighting with the people you love the most. The real-deal ugly side of you comes out and there’s no hiding it. The silver lining is that it peels away the layers of b.s that we all try to hold onto in the beginning of any new relationship or friendship.

How do we get better at fighting? Learn to say I’m sorry. In my experience saying sorry when you’ve hurt someone opens you up to being candid and vulnerable. Overtime you can turn your fighting into frankness and create a much more meaningful relationship.

Relationships take time to build, even the ones we’ve had our whole life. Being candid with those you love and care about leads to more love and better communication, which will bring you more joy and happiness in the long run. 

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Dani Havasy

Dani Havasy is a gifted yoga and pilates teacher and the creator of Core Chakra. Her passion for yoga and pilates is rooted in a fondness for physical exercise and a deep personal attachment to spiritual exploration. Beyond holding certifications in both disciplines (including pre-natal yoga) Dani has completed a variety of fitness certifications and has been featured in many publications.

For help healing your chakras, contact dani@corechakra.com or visit CoreChakra.com.