Recently, I received an email from a woman named Laura who lives in Alaska, whom I’ve never met in person. She wrote,
I just wanted to let you know that I received my order yesterday and I LOVE my rings! I'm wearing the black, multi-stone one today and it's just perfect! I will definitely be back to your shop to purchase gifts for friends and probably some other pieces for myself. I love that your business stands for something! Thanks also for your quick service!
I’ll share with you what I wrote back in a sec, but before I do, I want you to know that if I had received this several months ago, I may have responded differently.
For many of us, it’s way easier to give a compliment, than to receive one. I know I totally used to fall into this category. I’ve always been able to lavish compliments upon the people around me: family, friends, my students, my co-workers, even the impatient and tired barista up the street.
But for some reason, I used to find it way easier to deflect a compliment directed toward me. Instead of a simple THANK YOU, I would say something like, “Oh, it was nothing.” or “Hey, no problem.”
Is this something you find yourself doing, too? Why do we women have such a hard time accepting compliments?
Running my own business has taught me numerous things, but one lesson I'm getting better at understanding is this:
I am worthy of praise!
I work really hard on my Compliment jewelry, and in turn, I know that I am a conduit to bring joy into other women’s lives. If a customer emails me or posts on the Compliment Facebook page about just how much she loved receiving her well-made, personalized gift, my inclination now is to say something along the lines of what I sent back to Laura in Alaska:
Thanks so much for your kind words! They mean a lot! I really work hard at making sure each piece of jewelry I send out is crafted with care, just like I were sending it to my best friend. I really appreciate you noticing the "why" of the business and that it stands for something!
A compliment, after all, shows someone appreciates us, recognizes our gifts or talents, or really “sees” us. And isn’t that what we all want? To be truly seen, to be loved, and to belong?
You are worthy of praise!
If someone wants to pass on the “feel-goodery,” as I say, why shouldn’t we accept that? When you really think about it, it's when we feel down on ourselves that we deflect praise. And that's a bunch of garbage, if you ask me. Be like a sponge for praise. Soak it in. Listen for it and then hold on to it. Feel proud of who you are and what you offer to this world!
Here’s my challenge to you: the next time someone tells you that you look great in that dress, DON’T say, “Ugh, this old thing?” or “You don’t think it makes my butt look huge?” you simply say, “Thank you! That is so nice of you to notice!”
Soak it in, sister. You're a total hottie. Accept it!
Wanna take it a step further? Think of something you love about YOU, and compliment yourself! Warning: You might start to notice a shift in thinking, which might lead to happiness. Just sayin’.
Melissa Camilleri is a writer, educator, mentor, and business owner. Her company, Compliment, Inc. -- a place to find “gifts that uplift” -- is founded on the premise “we rise by lifting others,” ®. Since 2012, Compliment has given tens of thousands of dollars to young women with a dream of rising beyond their circumstances through education. Melissa lives and loves in Sacramento, California with her husband Nick. Visit Compliment online and on Instagram.
*This is a reprint of a blog post Melissa previously wrote; read the original here.
IMAGE courtesy of THE JOY ARCHIVAL.